Two Weeks

In two weeks my home will be in a moving van. C's belongings and my belongings will be mixed together. We will be on our way to our new life. Everyone keeps asking if I'm nervous. They give me this sympathetic look and cock their heads to the side, "You must be so nervous" they say. I was surprised the first time someone said that. I'm not nervous at all. I don't really know how I feel, but I'm not nervous. I'm more impatient than anything.

I've been waiting for this part of my life for so long. I didn't picture it happening in New England, but the location isn't nearly as important as the family. I will be with my partner, my buoy, my safety. Buoy is a good way to describe what C is to me. He keeps me afloat when all I want to do is sink. He keeps me anchored and safe. We will also be near his family. I know he has wanted this for a long time. I am excited to form a closer relationship with his family. It's hard to get to know people when you only see them once or twice a year. Lastly, my sister is in Massachusetts. My sister. The only family member I have that I actually would have chosen had I the choice.

I finally feel like I am actually in control of my own life.