Loss

My grandmother died in the early hours of morning. A call went out and the family woke and raced to the hospital. Their headlights pierced through the dark of the night. Few made it in time. My mother and two aunts were entering the hospital when they got the call. It was like she needed all of the strings of her life present, so she could cut them and leave.

So here I sit, in my favorite robe, the one she gave me. It is cold and drizzly and gray outside, a perfect day to die, and I feel like I am a thousand miles away.

Christmas is Here

Tonight we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I went outside during a commercial and looked at our Christmas tree from the outside. It is so much more magical in real life. I can't even bear to turn it off during the day.

A New England State of Mind

We are settled. Things are settling. We have a routine. He comes home at lunchtime every day. I have his sandwich ready with a small handful of chips, an apple and some sort of dessert. Sometimes I make cookies. It is comfortable and we are content. He tells me about work. We talk about random pieces of evidence from the Lindbergh baby kidnapping that he comes across while going through the collection that he's working on. I am trying not to let the anxieties of everyday life consume me. I do well most of the time. Learning to live together has been pretty simple. He is easy to live with. A little messy, perhaps, but I think I was too when I had a job to get up and go to every morning. I am more neurotic and he has adapted to my needs well. Other than small things it is like nothing ever changed.