From the Beginning

My first date with C was in a coffee shop. I was a few months out of a long, depressing relationship and I was scared to death. I was also very pessimistic. Louis CK worded it perfectly when he said, "Best case scenario is that you get along, love each other, and are perfect partners and then one of you dies." But C's emails were charming, and the attention was nice.

It was late March. I had survived another bitter winter. My journal said things like: It's weird being like this. Standing in line all by yourself buying banana oatmeal, granola bars, and multiple cats litter. I can hear the cars rolling by outside and I wonder where all those people are headed. I wonder if anyone else is sitting at home with their multiple cats missing someone. I wonder if anyone else has ever felt this kind of desperation.

So yeah, I was in a good place.

He suggested we meet at a Starbucks in the Museum District. I spent my first year in the city slumming it with the hippies in Oregon Hill and even though it was only a few miles away I had no idea where it was. I did my hair special that morning, and clutching the mapquest directions in my clammy hand, met him after work. I wore a black shirt and a turquoise necklace. I don't remember much about the date. It went well. Our conversation was effortless. Afterward I couldn't remember anything about him. You could have put him next to any other white guy with brown hair and I probably wouldn't have been able to figure out which one I had just spent the last 3 hours with.

He wanted to see me again, and I wanted to see him. I was in the process of packing up my apartment and moving to the Museum District, conveniently and coincidentally 2 blocks away from him. I couldn't get away from my packing, so he agreed to come see me. I remember taking little sips from a bottle of Emetrol to keep my nausea under control. I was so nervous it was making me sick. C now calls me "an easy vomiter." Almost every time I get nervous or upset I throw up.

When I saw him for our second date I was shocked. He was so handsome! How could I not remember those eyes? They looked like sea glass. He was funny too. It was so nice to see him again. To think about it, it seems like all of this just happened. Three years ago I never could have guessed that one little email would turn into all of this.

After our second date we were inseparable. His home was my home. My car was his car. The cats we adopted a year later were our cats. The most nervous I've ever been led to the happiest I've ever been. Mostly I'm just happy that I'll never have to go on another first date.